Photo taken at the London Lesbian and Gay Parade after the discriminatory Section 28 became law in 1988. Photo © Jennie Lazenby. Please also see speakoutlondon.org.uk – search by my name.
By Jennie Lazenby 1980s
Bizarrely, I only realised I really wanted to have children once I felt sure I was a lesbian. In 1986 I met a woman, who became a long– term partner. We decided to adopt children together. This was partly because we knew it was just beginning to be possible for lesbians to adopt, partly because there are children out there who need families, and partly because as lesbians we could at least adopt equally. However, in 1986 lesbians were also still losing custody of their children to male ex–partners.
The reason some boroughs were beginning to assess lesbian adopters was because they realised we were an untapped resource for children in care.
After managing to find (with some difficulty, to say the least) a local authority who would assess us, myself and my partner at the time were finally approved for two children in 1990. The social worker referred to us as ‘pioneers’ but we just wanted to have children. Unfortunately for us though, the local authority who approved us did not have a suitable match.
Then began three years of discrimination and heartache. As approved adopters we could and did actively apply for children who were advertised in a Children Need Families publication. The reactions were frequently very distressingly homophobic, eg suggesting we should be married, assuming I had a male partner when I rang. We were finally matched with a sibling group of four girls in 1993. The placing authority could not find anyone else but they still probably only placed the girls with us because the family finder turned out to be a lesbian. The girls’ headmaster said, ‘Better they go back to where they came from than that’ and the girls’ foster carers had never met anyone who they knew was a lesbian until they met us.
Whatever difficulties and heartache I have had and felt adopting older children I have never regretted adopting children. I think a sense of humour, good support networks and friends, never mind lesbian resilience, got me through. Indeed, I went on to adopt a baby with initially the support of my ex. That ‘baby’ has now made me a proud grandparent.
There are many other tales I would like to share, such as my involvement with Camden Lesbian Centre, and the ongoing need for more women behind the lens (whether it be in photography or film), and also to document my involvement as a photographer with Outwrite, the feminist newspaper. But with limited space, I decided to focus on my adoption experiences, as I would encourage everyone to consider adoption or fostering if they want to have children. You can be considered for fostering no matter your age, although adoption is not so practical when you are older. See the most recent publication I was involved with — Proud Parents, ed. Nicola Hill (BAAF 2013).
Reprinted with permission from Write women into history, Hackney Howlers